My Co-Workers Are Starting to Side-Eye Me for What I Do All Day at Work. If Only They Knew Why.
Slate · L · trust 52/100
Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here . (It’s anonymous!)
I was hired because headquarters requires a person in my position at every branch location. The person who previously held my position wasn’t just bad at her job; she actually tried to sabotage things (think: deleting crucial files and the like). Now my boss only trusts herself to do my job, and I spend most of my days sitting at my desk watching YouTube videos and getting side-eye from employees who actually have work to do. Any time I’ve brought this up to my supervisor, she politely waves me off and says she’ll train me on my duties “eventually.” Should I suck it up and just sit there looking stupid all day? Any suggestions to make myself look busy when I’m not?
Having to look busy when you aren’t is one of the most annoying problems of in-office work. Another common problem is managers who refuse to give up their responsibilities , which could be because they like to do the tasks they’re good at, don’t like to train other people, are stuck in a rut, or are still fighting the last war with your sabotaging predecessor.
To deal with your supervisor’s “eventually” response, try proposing some other solutions to her: Are there other tasks of hers you could take on to free up some of her time for training? Could you shadow someone with your job title who works at another branch location? Is there anyone else on staff who could walk you through the responsibilities? To build her confidence in you, ask her to train you on just one aspect of your job, and then give her regular updates that you’re doing it promptly and correctly.
While you’re waiting for your manager to let you do your dang job, you could use your free time more productively . If some of the side-eyeing peers do work you’re interested in, volunteer to partner with them on a project. Offer to cover for colleagues who go on vacation. Mentor interns or new hires. Introduce yourself to peers at other branch locations and ask for their advice on best practices for your position. Take online workshops, classes, or trainings that are relevant for your current role or would position you for a different job. Read up on news about your industry or profession. But it’s also fine to not be productive. Use your time stuck in front of a computer to email old friends, comment on Slate articles, or write a novel .
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Months ago, my spouse and I decided that I would take time off from work. I’m young (approaching 50 if you consider that young), but I’ve been intensely doing a white-collar office job for close to 25 years now. I don’t want to say I’ve burned out—it’s not that, but it’s something between checking out and truly burning out. I just need a break. Not a downshift, not a “time off to look for new positions,” but a real actual break of a year or maybe more. We’ve worked out the finances, and we can make this happen, and the plan is absolutely that I’ll go back to my career after I’ve just spent some real time, finally in my adult life, not having to work for money.
What’s the catch? Well, my company is in the process of being sold, and there is significant financial incentive for me to stick around for another eight or nine months. And it will very likely be a busy eight or nine months. I know I have to do it… It’s not a life-changing amount of money, but it is basically equivalent to an extra year’s salary or more, and with things like kids, college, retirement, and so forth, it would be foolish of me to give it up. It would set us up very well. And, as I said, I’m not truly burned out—if I was, I could just stop right now. But I also really am having a hard time imagining how to get there… Yet another school season, schedules, travel, another holiday season constantly worried about getting that next email, another spring season dominated by the same thing… I just can’t imagine doing that right now.
So that’s my question… I know I can get through this time. But how do I get there? How do I structure my mind to make it over the finish line? I can do the usual bobbing and weaving with extra vacation time and so forth, but I’ve come to realize I need a mental pathway for doing this, and I don’t have one. Any thoughts?
Before we get to how to manage the next eight or nine months of intense but well-paid work, are you sure you have to do it? You ran the numbers earlier and calculated that you could afford to take a year off. It’s tempting to earn a year’s worth of salary in two-thirds or three-fourths the time. But wouldn’t you have enough without it? Imagine how enormous your current salary would have seemed to you when you were starting out. Does your younger self think you’re rich enough and want you to enjoy an approaching-50 year? Would your future self rather economize and enjoy memories of your year off, or gleefully spend the extra money you socked away while you were risking burnout?
Let’s assume you ran the numbers again and decided that the extra money would help you retire earlier or more comfortably, go on dream vacations, expand your kids’ college opportunities, have more long-term flexibility in your career, or fix other problems that money can solve. If so, that’s one way to build a mental pathway: Remember that this is your choice. You weren’t trapped into the next eight or nine months of intense work; you decided the benefits are worth the sacrifice. A sense of agency can make an unpleasant situation more bearable. And remember that it’s an ongoing choice. Unless the extra money comes as a lump sum at the end of the transition, you could try working the intense shift for a month or two and then revisit your decision.
Your letter makes a great case for why employers should offer sabbaticals . It’s grueling to work for decades with no more than a few weeks of family leave or annual vacation time. Sabbaticals help recruit and…
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