Hayden Panettiere Discusses Addiction, Loss, Childhood Fame and Her Memoir
New York Times · LC · trust 53/100
Her mother put her on TV at 11 months old. She lost custody of her own daughter. The “Nashville” star has a lot to reckon with in her new memoir.
Her mother put her on TV at 11 months old. She lost custody of her own daughter. The “Nashville” star has a lot to reckon with in her new memoir.
“It was almost like I became numb to those small sadnesses, and I had to up the ante every time,” the actress said of assuming emotional roles at a very young age. Credit... Ryan Pfluger for The New York Times
Hayden Panettiere did not want to sit still. Moments after she said hello via Zoom from her Los Angeles condo, she asked if she could walk back and forth while we talked. The movement helped her process her thoughts. And so, clad in a black hoodie, her blonde hair pulled back tight, Panettiere, a two-time Golden Globe-nominated actress who has lived her life in front of cameras since she was 11 months old, started to pace.
After a tumultuous decade that involved crippling postpartum depression, addictions to alcohol and Klonopin, losing custody of her daughter, stints in and out of rehab and, finally, sobriety, she’s gearing up for the release of her memoir, “This Is Me: A Reckoning,” out on Tuesday.
Along with returning to acting and becoming a published author, Panettiere, 36, said she has a “laundry list of aspirations” for this new phase of life. She’d love to produce and direct, maybe create a jewelry or makeup line and — what the hell — perhaps she’ll launch a lifestyle brand. But first, she’s focusing all her energy on the release of the book.
Panettiere, with Jay Leno, on “The Tonight Show” in 1996. Credit... Margaret Norton/NBC, via Getty Images “This Is Me” chronicles her early years as a child star in soap operas and her breakout role, alongside Denzel Washington, in “Remember the Titans.” Her turn as the Texas cheerleader Claire Bennet in the hit NBC series “Heroes” had Teen Vogue calling her an “all-American beauty” on its cover, and tabloids printing photos with captions calling out her cellulite.
Panettiere writes that she suffered from body dysmorphia as a result. This was the early 2000s, an era when the paparazzi were ruthless, especially when it came to young female celebrities like Panettiere, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.
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