My Sister Is Condemning Her Unborn Child to a Life of Ridicule. I Have to Intervene.
Slate · L · trust 28/100
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My sister, “Heather,” and her husband are expecting their first child in November (a son). However, the first and middle names they want to give him will result in initials that spell out something unfortunate…
The baby’s initials will be “CUM.” When my husband and I realized this, we nearly died laughing. Still, I can’t imagine having to go through school (to say nothing of life in general) with something like that hanging over me. I’m not sure Heather has put it together. Should we clue her in and try to persuade her to choose something different?
Maybe you think you’re warning her, sparing her son from a life of horrible nicknames but, trust me, people do not want your opinions on their kids’ names, even initials. This is not like pointing out lettuce in someone’s teeth, they are not going to say “thank you.” They will be annoyed and regretful that they shared the baby’s name with you. Even if they name their baby “Ballsack Giacomo” or “Tits Wellington” or “Donald,” you should keep your mouth shut.
The worst thing that happens is they “realize their mistake” down the road, when they get monogrammed bibs sent from a clueless aunt. Then they’ll know. And then it’s theirs to laugh about or fix. But maybe they do know and it’s an homage to a Latin phrase they both enjoy? Did you perverts ever think of that? Either way, be kind, and don’t mention it to them.
I (age 45) have been dating my partner (age 60) for 10 years, seven of which were during his marriage to the mother of his children. She discovered the affair, and I moved with him into the house he bought while they were divorcing.
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