We Could Send Our Eldest to Private School. But We’d Be Trading In His Sibling’s Future.
Slate · L · trust 59/100
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Our older child entering the first grade was pulled off the waitlist and accepted into a great (and one of the most expensive) K-12 private school at a huge discount that made it affordable for us. It has everything we wanted in a school for our children.
However, he already attends an amazing public school that many equate with a private school. Plus, if the older one leaves, our younger child will lose the chance at that amazing public school because they’ll lose sibling priority. Everything I’ve researched shows the private school gives high priority to siblings, and if both are in, the tuition will increase but remain affordable.
However, the younger child cannot apply for the private school for another two years, and because of the child’s late birthday, will actually be left back a year if accepted. Also, there is a chance that our younger one will not get accepted, or will be accepted but tuition will increase to a level where it’s unaffordable to send him there, and the younger one will be in a public school not of our choosing. It feels like we are trading one child’s bright future for another. What should we do?
As a family, it’s important to make decisions that make sense for the whole. If your older child is already in an excellent school, why move him at all? Having both of your children at the same high-performing public school, with you as an involved parent focused on one place, seems to me to be the best solution—especially since parent involvement is a strong predictor of student success.
Also, consider the logistical and social benefits. Your children can connect with other families (not just individual kids in their classes); you can have a greater presence at school and build rapport with teachers, administrators, and support staff; and your kids can feel more and more like they are part of a school community as they grow.
The money you’d spend on tuition, however low, could also go to other enriching activities, such as tutoring, sports, or music lessons. So you can stay focused on their grades and development and invest in the areas you think they could use some help in. I understand wanting your children to go to a private school if you’re unhappy with their public school choices. But here, there seem to be all positives to having them stay put.
My daughter is a very bright first grader, excelling at both reading and math well beyond her grade level. Because of this, she has become quite bored and disengaged with school, and has even asked if I could teach her at home full time (not currently a viable option). The school did respond to the situation, but the response was not robust, and I am considering transferring her to another district that has a gifted program. In the meantime, I am teaching her higher-level math and science at home. My parents have asked why I don’t just have her skip a grade…
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