How wealthy families can prepare for aging parents and avoid a succession crisis
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A version of this article first appeared in CNBC's Inside Wealth newsletter with Robert Frank, a weekly guide to the high-net-worth investor and consumer. Sign up to receive future editions, straight to your inbox.
Battles over aging parents and their fortunes are becoming increasingly common in wealthy families, with some requiring cognitive assessments for those leading family businesses.
While many families focus on the tax or financial components of wealth transfers, fewer are addressing the question of when an aging parent should give up control, wealth advisors and lawyers told CNBC. Waiting until a parent's cognitive decline is apparent can leave families scrambling over who controls their fortune.
"Look, most of the matriarchs and patriarchs who create family wealth are strong personalities, right?" said trust and probate attorney Scott Rahn. "They've done great things, they've created this wealth, they've created dynasties. Now you're coming face to face with the reality that despite all of their accomplishments, they're human. That can just be emotionally difficult for families."
Rahn said delaying a transition process can come at a steep cost. His law firm, RMO LLP, specializes in inheritance disputes among ultrawealthy families. He said these types of conflicts have become more common as families grow richer and people live longer, which comes with higher chances of a family member developing conditions like Alzheimer's disease.
Family businesses can build in legal safeguards, such as mandatory retirement ages or mental capacity evaluations, according to Rahn. But how families talk about succession can matter as much as the legal language, he said.
"Whatever that mandatory retirement clause may be, it has to be part of a fulsome discussion around family wealth — what it means culturally to the family," he said.
The biggest mistake that families make is waiting for a crisis like a stroke or a disagreement to discuss succession, according to Mallory Findley of Rockefeller Capital Management. By then, emotions are running high and sometimes trust is already broken, she said.
"The better approach is to begin while everyone is capable of participating really thoughtfully — as we like to say — while they're happy and healthy and here," said Findley, the firm's head of family dynamics and financial education.
She said meaningful life events, like selling the family business or a birth in the family, make for natural points to evaluate future plans.
It's easier to have these weighty conversations if the family talks regularly, said BJ Goergen Maloney, global head of J.P. Morgan Private Advisory.
"If you don't have a cadence of talking about things, even if it's a couple of times a year, it's really hard to have those conversations," she said.
Families can build their muscle memory, as she puts it, with casual gatherings, Maloney added.
"People like to think of a family meeting for a very wealthy family as very formal, but a family meeting can be dinner on Sunday night," she said. "It doesn't have to be complicated. It's really about creating a place where you can talk about things and be transparent and solicit other people's opinions."
While families should seek a health evaluation sooner rather than later if they see signs of cognitive decline or dementia in a matriarch or patriarch, the succession process shouldn't be rushed, advisors told CNBC.
Cognitive decline is usually a gradual process, and aging adults' needs can change over time, noted Valerie Galinskaya, head of the Merrill Center for Family Wealth. Handing over family affairs should not resemble flipping a light switch, she said.
For instance, when a client expressed concerns that his mother, who managed multiple properties, was no longer as sharp as she used to be, Galinskaya said she framed the conversation as financial planning for the entire family. Rather than focusing on the mom's faculties, the advisor asked how each family member viewed success across different time horizons.
"We reframe it as not taking reins away but asking who is the right individual holding reins for individual decisions at hand," she said.
Adult children's efforts to claim control can backfire if they act too quickly or second-guess their parents' decisions, according to Dan Griffith, director of wealth strategy at Huntington Bank.
"One of the sad scenarios I've seen is that you've got overbearing kids who drive their parents away. When they do that, they're driving their parents into the arms of somebody who potentially could take advantage of them," he said.
The Inside Wealth newsletter by Robert Frank is your weekly guide to high-net-worth investors and the industries that serve them.
Tact is everything, according to Mark Parthemer, chief wealth strategist of Glenmede.
"This individual — for whatever role that we're talking about getting them out of, whether it's driving the car, running the company, or being the trustee of the trust — a lot of their self identity is invested in that role, right?" he said. "They've been the key person. They've been the person everyone relies on, and so we should be delicate about removing them from that role."
There are ways to make a transition feel empowering, Parthemer said, noting one family he advised chose to "promote" the patriarch from president of the company to chairman of the board.
"That was a real-life situation where we were trying to allow dad to remain in a position where he felt important, needed and valued," he said. "Even though he couldn't do the multi-step business dealings, he could have done before, he was still able to attend strategy meetings and weigh in."
Sometimes it's not possible for a parent to stay involved in the family…
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